i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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