ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Damn victory sex feels great
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
