just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
