i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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