Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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