She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I could fuck to npr.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Randomize
