don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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