i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
