I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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