the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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