we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
True but thats because hes a fetus.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
