so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
