The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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