Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
