pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
