Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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