u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize
