Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
