You really coming over, don't trick.
Small penises have feelings too.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
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