It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
