I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
