I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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