just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize
