mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I have feelings that need drinking.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
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