Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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