I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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