apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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