i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Randomize
