Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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