Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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