is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
