it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
