whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
