I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
