Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
