We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
