My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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