Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
