So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
