I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
