you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
