I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
