why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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