you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
