Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
