i just wanna soil my oats bro
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
