What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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