Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
