Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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