But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Randomize
